Ask Grikli
Hi again, Grikli the goblin monk is here to answer all of your questions with her really good advice that has definitely been checked over by a really important editor type person. Yes, that's definitely what happens. Okay, on to your questions:
Dear Grikli,
I recently took a job as a chef in a small tavern in Sandpoint, only to discover that the owner is a werewolf who occasionally enjoys snacking on the patrons. On one hand, I appreciate the fresh ingredients, but on the other, I'm not sure how to feel about potentially serving humanoid stew. Any advice on navigating this hairy situation?
Dear Conflicted,
You definitely wrote to the right goblin to find the answer you need to this question. I even had a discussion about this with my friends Nert, Keen, and Crimson... I think it was last year or something. Anyway, my friends Keen and Crimson are big and hairy, too, though they're not werewolves, they're just regular gnolls, but they do eat other gnolls, so that's kind of what you're talking about. I mean, as long as you're not eating your friends that are just like you, it's not really cannibalism, if that's your concern. Eating different people can be good, I guess (I haven't really tried to be honest), but I wouldn't want to eat another goblin, that would be pretty gross. Anyway, I guess it just depends on your whole stance on the subject. Oh, and maybe ask their permission first. It's important to not eat people that don't want to be eaten. Now I'm hungry and I'm going to have to think on this one some more.
Dear Grikli,
My neighbor's dweomercat has developed a habit of wandering into my yard and using my prized azaleas as a litter box. I've tried erecting barriers and sprinkling repellents, but nothing seems to deter the mischievous beast. Short of hiring a wizard to cast a permanent banishment, what can I do to reclaim my garden?
Dear Aggravated,
That sounds like a really big problem and, honestly, your neighbor should to a better job of keeping their pet in their yard and out of yours. Have you tried talking to them about the kitty destroying your yard? I like kitties and I don't care much for flowers because they always break so easy (the flowers not the kitties), but maybe you don't like kitties all that much. I had to hide a kitty from one of my friends one time because he wanted to it the kitty. It was a good kitty, it didn't need to be eaten. Yeah, so don't eat the kitty and talk to your neighbor to see what they can do, but if they still won't do anything maybe talk to the guard in your area or whoever is in charge of keeping kitties out of other people's yards. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
