Absalom Daily Dispatch - Issue 3

Coal Dust Plagues Highhelm Forges

In the bustling city of Highhelm, where the forges burn hot and the anvils ring true, a silent threat looms in the form of coal dust. This insidious powder, a byproduct of the coal that fuels our city's industrial might, has proven to be a treacherous hazard if left unchecked. Just last Toilday, a harrowing incident at the Blazingspur Smithy nearly resulted in catastrophe. According to eyewitness accounts, a stray spark from the forge ignited a cloud of coal dust, causing a fiery explosion that singed the bushy eyebrows of the dwarven blacksmith, Thordal Ironhammer.

"By Torag's mighty hammer, it was as if a red dragon had exhaled its fiery breath!" exclaimed Thordal, still shaken from the ordeal. "Had it not been for my quick thinking and a nearby barrel of ale to douse the flames, the entire smithy could have been reduced to cinders." Incidents like this have become increasingly common in recent months, prompting city officials to issue strict guidelines for handling and disposing of coal dust. Lord Castellan Markham Delerius has decreed that all forges and smithies must implement rigorous cleaning protocols, ensuring that coal dust does not accumulate in dangerous quantities.

"Coal dust is a silent killer, lying in wait like a cunning assassin," warned Lord Delerius during his latest town hall meeting. "A single errant spark can ignite a conflagration capable of engulfing entire city blocks. We cannot afford to be complacent in the face of such a threat."

In addition to regular cleaning, the Lord Castellan has mandated the installation of specialized ventilation systems and the use of specialized coal dust-suppressing compounds in all forges and workshops. The consequences of ignoring these precautions could be dire, as evidenced by the tragic events that unfolded in the neighboring city of Forge's End just last year. A massive coal dust explosion leveled half the city, leaving hundreds dead and countless more injured.

"We cannot allow such a disaster to befall our beloved Highhelm," declared Lord Delerius, his voice resonating with conviction. "It is incumbent upon every citizen, from the lowliest apprentice to the most seasoned master smith, to remain vigilant and adhere to these safety measures."

In the face of this potential peril, the citizens of Highhelm must band together and take heed of the warnings. For in a city where the forges burn bright, a single spark of carelessness could ignite a conflagration that consumes us all.

Time Traveling Vixen or Mage

Cairnlands - In a bizarre incident that has left locals scratching their heads, a woman claiming to be a time traveler from over 500 years ago appeared in the Cairnlands region accompanied by a group of adventurers, including a member of the mysterious Graycloaks order. Eyewitnesses report that the group emerged from what appeared to be a blue-painted siege tower that materialized out of thin air. The woman, whose identity remains unknown, is said to have been part of the defending forces during the failed Cheliaxian siege of Absalom over half a millennium ago.

According to sources, the woman claims to have attempted some sort of ritual to slow down time, but something went awry, resulting in her becoming frozen in time for the entire 500-year period. When questioned about the Cheliaxian siege, representatives from Cheliax remained tight-lipped, failing to respond to any inquiries regarding the ancient event. The group of adventurers, along with the alleged time traveler, are now said to be on their way to the Arcanamirium, where they hope to seek counsel from the esteemed archdean, Lady Archana, on how to proceed and ensure the integrity of the timeline remains intact.

A member of the Graycloaks is said to have been in the group. Graycloaks Captain Runewulf the Unbeliever, when asked about the situation, snarled, "You know as much as I do."Authorities are investigating the incident, but many questions remain unanswered. Was the woman truly a time traveler from centuries ago, or is there a more mundane explanation? And what role, if any, do the Graycloaks play in this bizarre occurrence?

Menace in the Stolen Lands

This is J. Jonas Jaamion with a terrifying tale that's sure to make you lock your doors and shudder in fear.Those wandering wastrels over in the Stolen Lands better watch their backs, because something wicked is wiping out the bandit scum plaguing those parts! Hunters and trappers are babbling about finding piles of charred human remains littering the Greenbelt. Not just burned to a crisp, no! Some poor slob had an entire arm torn off and what looks like a hole blown through their worthless skull. Digustingly gruesome stuff!

But wait, it gets worse! Lady Jamandi, that debacle of a ruler, is trying to convince all you muck-snipes that there's nothing to fear. She's sent a group of her "adventurer" lackeys to supposedly "clean up" the bandit problem. Clean up, my arm! These vigilantes are the real menaces, using the bandit crisis as an excuse to unleash their own twisted brand of bloodlust and violence. Mark my words, they're as big a threat as those scoundrel bandits, maybe more!

I can just see them now, drunk on power as they crush bones and leave mutilated corpses strewn about. First the bandits, but who's next, you ask? Upstanding merchants just trying to make an honest trade? Saranrae worshipping grannies taking a shortcut through the woods?No one is safe from the savagery of these "adventurers" running amok! Stay away from the Stolen Lands, true believers. Stick to the safety of the city until this murderous menace is put down for good!

Ask Grikli

Grikli the goblin monk here again to answer all your very important questions with my very good goblin brain. I got two whole questions this time, so I'm going to go ahead and get to them, but don't forget to send me more questions so I can give you good advice, too, or just give you answers. Sometimes questions aren't for advice so much as just people wanting answers to questions. Anyway, here we go!

Dear Grikli,
I'm a human scribe in Magnimar, and I've fallen hopelessly in love with a merfolk bard who performs at the local tavern. Our worlds are so different, and I can't help but wonder if a future together is possible. How can I bridge the gap between our cultures to build a relationship that lasts?
-Mad for Merfolk

Dear MFM,
This is a really complicated question. It's so cool that you fell in love with a cool bard person. Love can be really hard to find in a world that's super chaotic like ours. I mean, we're always dealing with monster attacks and like maybe tomorrow the tavern stage is actually going to be a mimic and like swallow up your bard, which would be really awful actually, so maybe tell them your feelings sooner rather than later? I'm just saying life is short, so being afraid is just going to hold you back and really what's the worst they can say? No. Well, I mean, they could also say that they "have to live on water and you live on land our worlds are too different" or something, but like all you have to do is learn to run on water. Come to Alkenstar, I can teach you, it's really easy.

Dear Grikli,
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
-Wooden Wonderer

Dear WW,
Um, so I had to ask around to other people because I've never heard of a woodchuck, but it sounds like it might be something cool. Most people here in Alkenstar just sort of looked at me funny, but the engineers (they're the really smart people with the funny glasses, like my friend Keen) said that it sounded like you might be talking about some sort of clockwork wood tossing thingie and, they thought it would be actually really useful for quickly stacking up wood when stuff's gotta be built and then they quickly started writing down a bunch of numbers and drawing stuff and shooed me out of the lab, so I don't know, but they seemed really busy. For me, I don't need a wood chucking machine because I'm really strong and I can just throw whatever wood I want wherever I want. I just flexed my arms because they're very strong, but you can't see that, so anyway, um probably a lot, I guess? It really depends on what it runs on (pure goblin energy is best, if you ask me) and if it's built good and stuff. That's a good answer. Okay, bye!

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